What Can I Do If My Ex Refuses Summer Holiday Contact?
If an ex-partner refuses summer holiday contact, the first step is to check whether the arrangements are contained in a Child Arrangements Order or are only informal.
Where a court order clearly provides for holiday contact, both parents are expected to follow it. A parent may apply to enforce the order if it is breached without a reasonable excuse.
Where there is no court order, parents can attempt direct negotiation, solicitor correspondence or family mediation. If agreement remains impossible, a parent may apply to the Family Court for a Child Arrangements Order.
No parent is automatically entitled to half of the summer holidays. Any arrangement or court decision must focus on the child’s welfare.
Key points
- There is no automatic legal right to 50% of every school holiday.
- Existing court orders should be read carefully because holiday provisions may replace the normal term-time pattern.
- Informal arrangements are more difficult to enforce than court orders.
- Parents should communicate calmly and make specific written proposals.
- Family mediation may help resolve the disagreement without court.
- An existing order can potentially be enforced or varied.
- Urgent applications may be appropriate in limited circumstances.
- The child’s welfare is more important than parental fairness.
Is a parent entitled to half of the summer holidays?
Neither parent automatically receives half of the school holidays.
Parents can agree to divide the holiday equally, but that is only one possible arrangement. Other options include:
- Continuing the normal weekly pattern
- Allocating one uninterrupted week to each parent
- Dividing the holiday into longer blocks
- Alternating particular weeks each year
- Making separate arrangements for travel and family events
- Using a gradual arrangement for younger children
The appropriate plan will depend on factors such as:
- The child’s age
- The child’s routine
- The distance between the parents’ homes
- Work and childcare arrangements
- The child’s existing relationship with each parent
- Health or additional needs
- Planned travel
- The child’s wishes and feelings, where appropriate
The legal focus is the child’s welfare rather than achieving mathematical equality between the parents.
What should I do when contact is first refused?
Ask the other parent to explain the refusal in writing.
The communication should be factual, calm and child-focused. Avoid personal allegations or threats.
Useful questions may include:
- Is the disagreement about particular dates?
- Are alternative dates being proposed?
- Does the child already have planned activities?
- Is there concern about travel or accommodation?
- Is there a safeguarding concern?
- Do the parents interpret the court order differently?
- Would a shorter or adjusted arrangement resolve the issue?
The parent requesting contact should provide a specific proposal that includes:
- Exact dates
- Collection and return times
- Hand-over arrangements
- Accommodation details
- Travel plans
- Emergency contact details
- Plans for communication with the other parent
Clear proposals are more useful than general demands for “half the holidays”.
What if the arrangements are informal?
Separated parents can agree arrangements without obtaining a court order.
An informal agreement may work well while communication remains constructive. However, it cannot usually be enforced in the same manner as a Child Arrangements Order.
Where an informal agreement breaks down, the options may include:
- Direct negotiation
- A written parenting plan
- Solicitor correspondence
- Family mediation
- A consent order
- An application for a Child Arrangements Order
A parenting plan can record the agreed dates, handovers, travel arrangements and communication expectations.
Where parents reach an agreement but want legal certainty, a solicitor may help prepare a consent order for the court’s approval.
What if there is already a Child Arrangements Order?
A Child Arrangements Order may determine:
- Where the child lives
- When the child spends time with each parent
- Weekend and weekday arrangements
- Summer holiday contact
- Christmas and Easter arrangements
- Overnight contact
- Telephone or video communication
- Collection and return arrangements
Parents must read the wording carefully.
The normal term-time schedule may not apply throughout the school holidays. A separate holiday provision may temporarily replace the usual arrangement.
Some orders specify exact weeks. Others state that the holidays should be divided equally but require the parents to agree dates. Less detailed wording can lead to disagreement about how the order should operate.
A family solicitor can advise on the meaning and practical effect of the order.
Can a Child Arrangements Order be enforced?
A parent may apply to enforce an existing Child Arrangements Order where the other parent has failed to comply.
The court will consider:
- Whether the order was breached
- The reason for the breach
- Whether there was a reasonable excuse
- The effect on the child
- Whether the order remains workable
- Whether future arrangements require clarification
- Whether additional intervention is necessary
The court will not treat every missed contact occasion in exactly the same way. A genuine emergency will be different from repeated and deliberate non-compliance.
Enforcement proceedings should be used to protect stable arrangements and the child’s relationships, not to continue conflict between the adults.
What might amount to a reasonable excuse?
Whether a parent has a reasonable excuse depends on the circumstances.
Potentially relevant situations could include:
- A serious illness
- An immediate safeguarding concern
- A genuine emergency
- A direct conflict within the wording of the order
- A risk that the child will not be returned
- The other parent failing to provide essential information
- A significant and unexpected travel disruption
A concern should be proportionate to the action taken.
For example, concern about one proposed trip may not justify stopping all summer holiday contact.
Parents should seek legal advice where the refusal is based on allegations of risk, abuse, neglect, substance misuse or harmful behaviour.
What if the child refuses to attend contact?
A child’s wishes and feelings may be relevant, particularly as the child becomes older and more mature. However, a child should not be placed in the position of deciding the dispute between the parents.
A child may resist contact because of:
- Anxiety about staying away from home
- A disrupted routine
- Conflicting social plans
- Loyalty towards one parent
- Exposure to adult conflict
- A difficult relationship with a parent
- A genuine welfare concern
- The proposed length of the stay
The parent with whom the child is staying should not automatically treat reluctance as a reason to disregard a court order.
The cause of the resistance should be considered carefully. Legal advice may be required where the situation is persistent or serious.
Can family mediation help?
Family mediation gives parents an opportunity to discuss the disagreement with an independent mediator.
The mediator does not represent either parent and does not impose a decision. The objective is to help the parents reach a practical agreement.
Mediation may address:
- Holiday dates
- Handovers
- Foreign travel
- Replacement contact
- Communication
- Changes to the existing arrangement
- Future holiday planning
Before making many private children applications, a person will generally be expected to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting unless an exemption applies.
Mediation may not be suitable in some cases involving domestic abuse, safeguarding concerns, urgency or significant power imbalances.
Can I make an urgent court application?
An urgent application may be considered where delay would cause significant harm or make meaningful contact impossible.
Examples might include:
- Holiday contact beginning imminently
- A threatened removal from the country
- A serious safeguarding concern
- A repeated and deliberate breach of an order
- A risk that the child will not be returned
- A situation in which delay would materially affect the child
Urgency should not be created unnecessarily. Parents should seek advice as soon as it becomes clear that agreement may not be reached.
The court will expect the application to explain why the matter requires urgent attention.
Can an existing order be changed?
A Child Arrangements Order can potentially be varied where it is no longer suitable.
A variation may be appropriate where:
- The child is older
- The child’s needs have changed
- One parent has moved
- School arrangements have changed
- The holiday provisions are unclear
- Work commitments have changed
- The same dispute arises repeatedly
- The existing arrangement is no longer practical
The parents may first attempt to agree revised arrangements. If agreement is reached, they may consider asking the court to approve a consent order.
Where agreement is impossible, a parent can apply to vary the existing order.
Can missed holiday contact be replaced?
Parents can agree replacement time where holiday contact has been missed.
Replacement contact is not automatic in every case, but it may form part of a negotiated solution or be considered within court proceedings.
Any replacement arrangement should take account of:
- The child’s existing commitments
- School dates
- The child’s routine
- Travel arrangements
- The length of time missed
- The reasons contact did not take place
The purpose should be to restore a workable arrangement for the child, not to punish the other parent.
How can Arlingsworth Solicitors help?
Arlingsworth Solicitors can assist with:
- Reviewing a Child Arrangements Order
- Clarifying summer holiday provisions
- Negotiating contact dates
- Communicating with the other parent’s solicitor
- Family mediation preparation
- Consent orders
- Child Arrangements Order applications
- Applications to vary an order
- Enforcement proceedings
- Urgent applications
- Safeguarding allegations
- Foreign holiday and passport disputes
Our family law solicitors advise parents in Brighton, London and across England and Wales.
Early advice can help establish whether an order has been breached, whether negotiation remains realistic and whether court action is proportionate.
Frequently asked questions
Can my ex stop me seeing my child during the summer holidays?
Where a Child Arrangements Order provides for contact, the other parent should not disregard it without a reasonable excuse. Where there is no court order, negotiation, mediation or a court application may be required.
Am I legally entitled to half of the school holidays?
No. There is no automatic entitlement to an equal division. Arrangements must reflect the child’s welfare and circumstances.
Can the police enforce summer holiday contact?
Most child-contact disputes are dealt with through the Family Court. Police involvement may be appropriate where there is an immediate safety concern, threatened abduction or another potential criminal issue.
Can I enforce an informal agreement?
An informal agreement is not normally enforced in the same way as a Child Arrangements Order. A solicitor can advise on formalising the arrangements.
What order can I apply for if there is no existing order?
A parent may apply for a Child Arrangements Order asking the court to determine when the child lives or spends time with each parent.
Should I keep records of refused contact?
Accurate records of proposed dates, responses, missed handovers and attempts to resolve the dispute may be relevant. Communications should remain factual and child-focused.
Legal information
This article concerns the law of England and Wales. It provides general legal information and does not constitute advice about an individual case.
Content reviewed: July 2026
